Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
