I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
