Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
