Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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