Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
No I am not eating basil off your cock
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
