i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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