We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
