Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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