I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
