So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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