My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
