best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
