It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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