Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
