The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
