what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
