I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
