This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
