so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize