Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
