I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
