She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
