Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
