She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
