he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
