I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
