it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize