Umm I'm too high to move.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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