Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I touched a dick in church today
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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