You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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