what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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