i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize