Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
