im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
