my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
