The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
false alarm. still invincible.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
