do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
