he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
