Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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