i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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