The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
