oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
someone owes me an orgasm
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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