What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
