I like my sex mixed with concussions.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
