I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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