With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize