You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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