I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
