White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
