Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I came so hard my ears popped.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
