he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
