Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
it was like eating out sand paper
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
