Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
