after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize