i think my mom watched the whole time
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
