Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize