Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
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