i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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