Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
