I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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