all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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